# Advent 2009: St. John of the Cross - A Joyful Journey
*2009-12-13*

> Bill Young reflects on the nature of authority within the family and how parents can model their leadership after the humility of Jesus.

## The Nature of Authority

I remember my youngest son, at about age five, yelling at me in frustration, "Who made you the boss of me?" I suspect I was acting like the boss—telling him to go here or do that. While parents certainly have authority, we can lose the effectiveness of that authority if we misuse it.

## Children as Gifts

Our children are not given to us to be slaves, nor are they meant to fulfill our own needs or live out dreams that we didn't see come true. They are their own little persons with personalities and gifts that are unique to them from birth. Our authority is best exercised when we help them discover that unique personality and guide them in exercising those gifts.

## The Model of Servant Leadership

Christians have a model of authority and leadership in Jesus. He taught that a true leader is one who washes the feet of the disciples. As we seek to lead our families, let us remember that our children are precious gifts entrusted to us.

## Family Reflection and Prayer

For today's activity, I encourage you to ask your children if there are any house rules they would change if they could, or what they would do differently if they were the parents. Be sure to listen instead of immediately defending your own rules.

Lord Jesus, help us to be what we want others to be: gentle, kind, fair, and loving. As You were born into our world on Christmas Day, we pray that You be born in us and in our families this day. Amen.

*True authority is best exercised not through dominance, but through servant leadership that helps others discover their unique God-given gifts.*